I am fascinated by my friends who have sustained their marriages’ for 15, 20 and 30 years. Not fascinated the way a young girl is fascinated with the fairy tale aspect of marriage. Fascinated in as much, that I honor those I know who have sustained successful marriages for many years. Why I honor? My closest friends have afforded me the opportunity to see what marriage looks like from the inside. The closeness and the love they share is magical. Trust, the magic does not come without strife. The magic only comes with commitment.
I’ve been married and know what it takes to keep a marriage together. I understand the ups, the down, the sacrifice and the commitment that it takes to build with someone. My ex-husband was not as committed as I. Sometimes it haunts me that my marriage failed. Not because of the desire to be with. It haunts me because I believe in the sanctity of marriage. Some days I feel like I’ve failed on that level.
In today’s society marriage seems to be disposable. The statistics show the divorce rate is increasing rapidly and has been for many years. Which leads one to believe marriage is disposable. I can’t help to think. What does this idea of disposable marriage do to the children of these disposable marriages? On our last episode of Love Talk for Everyday People we talked about marriage, what it takes to sustain a marriage and the effects the non-traditional marriage has on the children vs. the effects the traditional marriage has on children. There are studies, 30 years of research that support my thought process, which is, children from the traditional non-conflict marriages do better in life and suffer far less emotional adversities than those from non-traditional marriages.
It seems logical if we as a people go back to our core traditional marriages and produce children in that environment we can to propel our children into society and they will be far more successful than before and help unite us as a people. My heart breaks when I see youth lost.
Love is the answer. True love begot non-conflict marriage, non-conflict marriage begot children, children better prepared to succeed.