A few weeks ago, I spent an evening partying with a group of men and women. I would not ordinarily party with this group because of the age difference. Let’s face it I could easily be the mother of everyone in the group. We were celebrating the birthday of a young lady that I absolutely adore. I had a ball celebrating, bar hopping, and dancing the night away!
As a podcaster, it’s been a goal to organize a group of men and women that did not share the same race, culture, or background as me. I desired to have a candid conversation about their love and relationship experiences. I wanted to see if I could find any correlation between my experiences as a black woman and their experiences as not a black woman. This night was the perfect setting.
The first couple is American with Hispanic roots. I’ll call them The Hunters. Not because their last name is Hunter but because they literally hunt deer together. They just worked. The chemistry was there. The Hunters started as friends. They are part of a group of friends. One person in the group got married, then his friend married another girl in the group, then his friend got married, and somebody married somebody else. It was a snowball effect. The Hunters became a couple and are living together, committed, and not married. They are enjoying their relationship on their own terms which is lovely to see.
Couple number two is a European couple. They are from Copenhagen. They knew each other as children. They grew up and found each other online. He told me it took him a while to get her to swipe right but she finally did. They fell in love got married and moved to Florida. These two genuinely like and love each other.
Couple number three have known each other for years. Their families are intertwined through deep long-term friendships. They had a love-hate relationship in the beginning. They worked together at one time and they both confessed it was brutal as they didn’t get along. He decided he wanted her to like him. He told me it was a challenge to get her to like him and he enjoyed that challenge. Talking to them you would never know they had ups and downs. They fell in love and are now engaged to be married. They both speak Spanish not sure where they were born or where their ancestors are from.
I didn’t speak to couple number four at all. They seemed a bit standoffish so I didn’t even approach them. There was an energy that emitted. I just didn’t feel the vibe with them.
The last couple is the newest. They just started dating. She is a sweet girl with an unbelievable heart. She happened to be the birthday girl. When I met her guy, I could see why he was attracted to her and she to him. He was a perfect gentleman. I felt good energy from this guy. We will see where this goes. She is an American Cuban mixed with a few other nationalities, Lebanese and Spaniard.
This mixed group has had some of the same experiences that I, an African American woman has had. It’s not one culture, one race that struggles with love. It’s a human struggle. The process of learning how to accept someone into your life and love them unconditionally is not easy. Each of the men I spoke with was very open, interested in love, and they chose to love. The women chose to love them right back. Remember the internal foundation is more important than the external shell.
Love is universal.
♥
TRACI J. HINDS 