I started this post many times over the past few weeks. I was stuck somewhere between, is this one of those posts that should remain in my journal locked away for an eternity or a post that I should share with whoever chooses to read it. By now you’ve guessed I’m no longer stuck.
Have you ever experienced heartbreak? I have more than once. Guess what? You can and will recover if you choose to be happy, keep an open mind and believe true love still exists.
Heartbreak is such a debilitating condition although temporary for most, the effects of this condition could potentially destroy you. That is of course if you allow the hurt to seep deep into your soul and permanently take up residence. You have to choose not to let the heartbreak win. Decide not to allow this potentially debilitating condition to take over your life. Do not fixate or dwell on the whys, what went wrong, should have, would have, could have or the maybe ifs. (That is of course if you were true and gave your all.) The reality is, dwelling on these things no longer matter. Stay in reality! What you thought you had and or wanted is no longer. When I am faced with heartbreak my choice is to not allow the breaker and the breaking of my heart to break me.
Most times we create our own pain by trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Sometimes we are not honest with ourselves. What I mean by this is, sometimes the timing is just not right or sometimes we just pick the wrong one to love. We give all of our love to a person who is not worthy, deserving and or incapable of loving us the way we need to be loved. Thereby developing a relationship that is doomed from the very beginning. There are clues, albeit subtle, but clues nonetheless. Teach yourself to see the subtle clues.
- Seemingly distant
- No solid commitment
- No claiming you (no title)
- Conversing in detail about the future is somewhat vague
- The feeling you get that something is just not right
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Taking more than giving or giving the bare minimum, not material emotionally
Broken hearts need patching. Clearly, we cannot actually reach into our chests and patch the hole where the pain resides. The patching comes through redirecting your thoughts and your actions. Focus on self. Not to say you ignore the pain, you must acknowledge the pain and understand how the pain came to be. Patching the pain is where the growth lives. Patch by rediscovering yourself. Do what gives you joy, personal joy. Get a massage or buy the expensive shoes. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated always. Most of all continue to trust God through your pain.
Forgive the breaker and the breakee (if you will) as well as the situation. Carrying baggage into the next relationship is a recipe for disaster. We can’t be afraid to be vulnerable and trust again. Nor can one be bitter. There is no growth in bitterness.
Moving on know what you want out of a relationship and be clear from the very beginning. Be ready to love again.
I still believe in love!
TRACI J. HINDS 